Remembering Sarah, Rota and Fely

We celebrate All Saints Day tomorrow. What better way to honor those who have gone before us than by publishing articles written about them and for them. The articles below were written by Dess in February of 2004, a few weeks after Sarah's first death anniversary. The picture of Rota, Fellie, and Sarah seated together was taken in 1995 at a luncheon get-together for Thelma Aranzaso-Soriano. I cropped out the rest of us.

REMEMBRANCE AND LOVED CHUMS: SARAH, ROTA AND FELLIE

February. A month characterized by cupidity, Eros, springtime and SSC homecomings. Why remember them now? Why write about them? We don't know. But all three were very active Silver Belles, when it came to getting us together and setting directions. Our Coral Anniversary is now but a year away. And as we draw up plans for that day, we cannot help but wonder what they have to contribute.

So last Sunday, the last day of February, on a leap year, Dess Allanigue-Madsen met with Sarah Jamir-Francisco, Rota Rasgonio-Bacani, and Fellie Solitaria in Sarah's house.

Here's part of their animated conversation:

FELLIE: O, Sarah, meron ka ba diyan sago? Masarap yung timpla mo ng sago mo, e. (Giggles and flashes her cutesy teeth).

SARAH: Aba, sieyempre. Alam kong dadating kayo e. Iinterviewhin daw tayo ni Ms. Dessiang. Ano ba ang topic, my dear.

ROTA: (Just entering. And in her signature tremulous voice). Hi! Ladies. I just came from the movies. I watched "Something's Gotta Give." It's the genre for our generation.

DESS: Ah, talaga? Feel good movie ba? Buti pa si Diane Keaton doon, may Jack Nicholson na, may Keanu Reeves pa. Ako kaya magka Mel Gibson? Yung "passion" of my life.

FELLIE Dess, yung mga issues and developments we used to telebabad on, alam mo na, sa politics, governance, the future of the country. Naku is there life after FPJ?

SARAH: I heard, may excursion daw kayo kila Lelette sa March 6. Sino na nagtatawag… nagtetext pala?

ROTA: Is anybody going to bring a van so you can all go together na lang? Maybe some of you can meet up in Starbucks Alabang Town Center and carpool? How many have said they are going? Would she need charis and tables kaya?

DESS: Alam mo naman si Lelette, well prepared lagi yan. The hostess with the mostest. Dati pinagtatawanan natin ang layo ng bahay niya. Kailangan pa nga daw ng visa papunta doon. Now, look at all that traffic in the South Luzon Expressway.

The opinions I would like to elicit from you three is this: What are your hopes and wishes for the Silver Belles who are turning Coral next year. Ganon ba yon? Silver na metal, nagiging Coral? Corals under the sea are living plants, di ba? But when removed from their natural habitat, they turn into a vibrant hue and become very beautiful ornaments.

ROTA: It is amazing how time flies. From silver, to pearl, and now coral. How multi-faceted we have become as mothers, wives, friends, career women, daughters, civic leaders, etc. It would be nice if the original aims and objectives of Silver Pax Inc were revisited. And we were able to really assist those among our classmates in need.

FELLIE: Yes, absolutely. And hopefully, we can organize more activities for bonding, beyond seeing each other at wakes and funeral, reunions, or the mandatory Christmas party. It's only when Balikbayan classmates come when we do get together. I miss the light banter and repartee of long drawn out lunches or dinners, then hopping coffee shops to savor the new dessert concoctions. Road trips to Tagaytay or Clark, when we can chat and chismis the hours away as a group. Recollections together has its value too.

Sarah: Basta get together more, eat together more, laugh together more. O Dess, OK na ba yan? Kasi marami pa akong gagawin. Girl Friday na ako ni St. Peter.

SARAH, SARAH, SARAH

By: Dess Allanigue-Madsen
(written a few weeks after Sarah’s first death anniversary)

This is long overdue. I know. It's not because I have forgotten Sarah or reneged on my promise to Vinchu to write a piece about Sarah. Just that I'm in a kind of time warp. Possibly, I'm still on denial. But face the fact, I must, that the irreplaceable, indispensable, unforgettable Sarah J. has passed on to the ultimate PAX. She has really left a void. And while Loilly has been prolific in her humorously detailed account of reunions in America from the Eastern seaboard to the Bay-Area Silver Belles, I have been in a literary stupor. My center of gravity hasn't been the same since Sarah died after Fellie and after Rota.

I cried a lagoon for Rota, was numb with sorrow for Fellie's parting, and then now, Sarah was taken. It was a little too much for me. I mean, the thoughtful, generous, helpful ones are taken away too soon. The good Lord has his divine plan and reasons. In the end, He knows best.

We all got closer during and after our Silver Jubilee milestone. It was the rite of passage that made us more profound and complete women. It was a privilege to have rediscovered them again in adult life, after spending our springtime together in campus.

Unlike Juris and Loily and Kathy and Lelette who caught a glimpse of Sarah in the hospital, I didn't have the opportunity to bite into the reality of her passing away. I attempted to visit her in PGH, but lost the nerve to go up to her room. And I always thought I was the brave one.

"The good die young" That truism couldn't be truer with the early graduation from this life of Rota, Fellie, and Sarah. I guess this realization prompted Gigi to remark: "Dess, Don't be good, ha!" And coming from Prats, that seemed to be an order worth obeying.

So we move on with our lives, though no one can order me to stop remembering Sarah every time I pass through Alabang Hills, or see her beloved son Oscar in the Town Center, or simply pick up the phone and think it is her, calling to remind me about a reunion or something. She had the distinct ability to get us herded to our myriad occasions as a class -- birthdays, reunions, meetings, wakes, fundraisings, balikbayan soirees, etc. What's more, no one can persuade me not to miss the reassuring voice and seasoned counsel she offers when I frantically call her about a problem. When it came to raising kids she was my frame of reference. She had learned valuable lessons ahead of me and knew just how to objectify the muddled scenario. It seems so unfair that I can't run to her anymore when I have an issue to resolve with my son, Lucas. Now I have to go to a therapist and he's costing me dearly.

Her children were her treasure and she was a gem of a mother as well. She once narrated to me about their trip to Disneyland - Tokyo when Oscar had a severe asthma attack and she had to carry him for quite a distance. Mind you, he was already a big boy by then. As we who were close to her observed, Sarah Jane (or Sarj) and Oscar made her life meaningful and rich. Her friends spiced up her life. Some sweetened it; others soured it. But bitter was never in her palate, even with the trials and pain she bore. Of course, those of us who were privy to her life knew who were the pain in her neck. Always jovial and helpful and thoughtful, she certainly was adept in lightening other people's load. I was truly touched by the hands-on help she gave me when my father passed away. I had called Pamela and Sarah to help me with the flower arrangements and together with Juris, they came through for me. Having no brothers and sisters, this is big-time emotional rescue. That's when you feel enfolded in the love and affection of your friends.

Of course, Sarah was feisty too and had strong opinions about issues and difficult characters. Her candor was refreshing and she could really "sock it to you" if need be. I saw her mellow. She became what the Jesuits preach: "A man for others."

I'm glad I was a camera-bug and took pictures every time we got together. Now, I have a collection of those KODAK moments that make for a Hallmark movie. Oh, but we had lots of hilarious snapshots too that's like a Monday night sit-com triple treat in Star Channel. There were highlights of those group bonding moments, like the time we spent the Philippine Centennial Celebration in Manila Mandarin, care of Juris. We were like teenagers in a pajama party. Loily snored me to insomnia. Juris snapped a picture of me topless in the bathroom vanity while tweezing my white hair. And Ampy was there to provide some sanity. History was being made that night and we spent it together, watching the fireworks on TV and chatting the night away.

We will be celebrating our Coral Jubilee next year. Wow grabe! Has it been that long? In my mind's eye I can still visualize Sarah in our Yearbook picture -- with her long tresses, white gala, and her "Close-Up" smile. With a heavy heart, I can just try to visualize her in our meetings, rehearsals and curtain call when we strut our stuff in the 2005 Homecoming. You can bet she'll be with us all the way -- in spirit -- prompting some of us to do the calling, reminding and persuading; finding the right kind of orangey red for our costumes and all that jazz. Surely she'll be cheering and clapping for us, laughing at our missed step or memory lapses. I can imagine Rota and Fellie snickering as they float above the front row seat while Sarah watches in amazement as Betchay does a belly dance in a harem dancer sequence. (Yes, this time we are going to dance). Oh, there I go daydreaming again… just like I used to in Lala Feliciano's Literature class, circa '70. Yes, I'm trapped in a time-warp, still thinking those three good girls are still around.