Loily's Eulogy for Sarah

It will soon be Sarah Jamir Francisco's birthday. And I'd like to dedicate this article to her, as she's probably the reason why I maintain this blog. When Sarah was alive, we used to call her Miss Communication. She took it upon herself to communicate to us, her classmates, the activities of the class - meetings, parties, and mere get-togethers. For months, and even years on end, going to our class activities was low in my scale of priorites. But through her, I knew what was going on and always felt some sense of connection. So when she was gone, I suddenly felt detached from the class.

One day, while cleaning out my emailboxes, I found emails from Sarah with inspirational quotes on friendship that she would send her friends. (I had never responded to them, I don't think I even acknowledged that I would receive them.) I suddenly felt a need to connect with the class once more. There were email addresses of our classmates were on Sarah's email, so I wrote them all: Myrna, Emi, Lelette, Carina, Juris, Loily, and the rest is history. Since then have tried to keep the rest of our classmates in the communication loop, as Sarah tried to do. As Juris said at that time, Sarah was still doing her job, even beyond the grave.

Loily wrote a moving eulogy for her best friend which I once sent out in a newsletter. I have included it here for posterity, that someday, it be included in our CTB.

A EULOGY FOR SARAH

By: Loily Pena Rosete

Good morning. I am honored and privileged to deliver this eulogy for Sarah. Actually, I am sooo nervous, just standing here. I hope I don't fumble my lines. I hope I don't disappoint her. After all, she was the one who asked me to write this eulogy for her. And thank God, she wanted it to be funny. I am sorry that I'm no literary genius, I just had to look up EULOGY in the dictionary. EULOGY definition: speech; writing in commendation or praise. Root word EU means well or something good as in eucalyptus- a WELL covered flower that leaves a strong odor used as an antiseptic. Or EUCLIDES - a great mathematician of Alexandria. Curiously, right after eulogy, comes the word EUNUCH. Definition: CAS-TRA-TED MALE. E-U???? Wellnuch? Goodnuch? NOnuch! (Father, maybe if Bishop Yalung was a eu…ah nevermind. Forgive me father).

It took me an hour and a half to do that intro.

Yesterday morning, I called up Sarah's daughter, Sarge to tell her that I couldn't do the eulogy. To talk about Sarah would take more than a day. She and I shared twenty years of tears and laughter. And if you add up all our phone calls, that would be about half of those twenty notorious, laborious, hilarious and religious years.

If someone would ask me what would be the first word to describe her, it would be religious. Even during our UP days, Sarah would always bring me to church for her First Friday, First Wednesday masses, novenas… she was just always praying. There was even a time that she would walk kneeling all the way from the church door to the altar. Every night, she prays the rosary. She prays when she wakes up and when she goes to bed. It would really upset her if she couldn't attend Sunday Mass. And when she prayed, she prayed fervently. Every time she would counsel me on some matter, she would always tell me to pray first before making any decisions. What she prayed for, I never asked. But everytime I look at her children, I know that all her prayers were answered.

To her children, please allow me to borrow some lines from the Litany of the Blessed Virgin, she was a mother most amiable, a mother most admirable, and a mother of good counsel. To us her friends, in our desperate and most trying moments, she was friend most prudent and a friend most faithful. She was all of wisdom, she helped the sick and gave refuge to sinners. She was no morning star, but she comforted the afflicted. One thing she'll never be is Queen of Martyrs. If you seek her advise and you wallow in self pity, this is what she'll tell you without batting an eyelash, "Leng, alam mo, hindi na uso ang martir. Matagal na silang binaril sa Luneta." You have to be straight forward with her because she doesn't mince words. For her, if you want counseling she'll gladly give it to you but she can't be your wailing wall all the time. She'll jolt you to your senses and kung wala pa rin effect, she'll recommend a lobotomy. Warning yon that you either shape up or ship out.

This woman was just so tough sometimes her pagka-Cavitena would show at the most awkward situations. Several years ago, nagmamaneho siya ng kotse niya and she was waiting to make a left turn. When the traffic officer gave her the go signal she just turned and drove on. And then one of the officers stopped her and she was wondering what her offense was. Tapos pagtingin niya sa rearview mirror, she saw the traffic officer limping towards her. Namimilipit yung mukha nung pulis pero Sarah just asked him in a very cool and unaffected voice, Bakit boss? Hindi mo ba nakitang nasagasaan mo ako? Huh? Kung nasagasaan ko kayo, eh bakit kayo nakatao diyan? Poor guy, it was not his day. Ayan! Yung paa ko, nasagasaan mo. Eh paano ko makikita yang paa mo eh nasa loob ako ng kotse. Then he asked for her license but Sarah refused to give it. Sabi niya, just escort me to Crame. It so happened that she knew someone there, and malas talaga nung pulis, hepe niya yung kausap ni Sarah. End of escapade 23 Series 6.

But Sarah never picked a fight with just everyone. One of her latest was when she watched a movie at the Town Center. She admonished some teenagers for being too noisy while the National Anthem was being played. One of the boys tried to reason out in a brash manner kaya yon, Sarah gave him a mouthful of venom. That boy is probably in therapy until now.

Before, I would hear people describing her as palaban, aggressive, and uncontrollable. For me, Sarah is a just person. If there is a cause to defend, she will fight to the end. She will never leave anything unfinished.

For those who did not really know her, they just judged her based on the opinion of others. I knew Sarah for more than thirty years, but it took me twelve years to understand her. My father is 82 years old, and to this day I don't understand him.

They say that for a relationship or friendship to work there has to be a balance between giving and receiving. With Sarah, I was almost always at the receiving end. We both worked hard to make ends meet. But somehow she would always find a way to help me financially. My kids still remember the many past Christmases when she gave them presents and spending Halloween at her house because it was also her birthday. She never failed to send cookies and fruits to my father even when she was sick already. She just never stopped giving.

There are a million things that I would like to say about Sarah but there isn't enough time. I would like to thank her for everything. Susan, a friend from UP would like to thank Sarge and Oscar for sharing their mother with her.

I would also like to thank everyone who helped her. She was deeply touched with all the outpouring of kindness and love.