Remembering Sarah, Rota and Fely

We celebrate All Saints Day tomorrow. What better way to honor those who have gone before us than by publishing articles written about them and for them. The articles below were written by Dess in February of 2004, a few weeks after Sarah's first death anniversary. The picture of Rota, Fellie, and Sarah seated together was taken in 1995 at a luncheon get-together for Thelma Aranzaso-Soriano. I cropped out the rest of us.

REMEMBRANCE AND LOVED CHUMS: SARAH, ROTA AND FELLIE

February. A month characterized by cupidity, Eros, springtime and SSC homecomings. Why remember them now? Why write about them? We don't know. But all three were very active Silver Belles, when it came to getting us together and setting directions. Our Coral Anniversary is now but a year away. And as we draw up plans for that day, we cannot help but wonder what they have to contribute.

So last Sunday, the last day of February, on a leap year, Dess Allanigue-Madsen met with Sarah Jamir-Francisco, Rota Rasgonio-Bacani, and Fellie Solitaria in Sarah's house.

Here's part of their animated conversation:

FELLIE: O, Sarah, meron ka ba diyan sago? Masarap yung timpla mo ng sago mo, e. (Giggles and flashes her cutesy teeth).

SARAH: Aba, sieyempre. Alam kong dadating kayo e. Iinterviewhin daw tayo ni Ms. Dessiang. Ano ba ang topic, my dear.

ROTA: (Just entering. And in her signature tremulous voice). Hi! Ladies. I just came from the movies. I watched "Something's Gotta Give." It's the genre for our generation.

DESS: Ah, talaga? Feel good movie ba? Buti pa si Diane Keaton doon, may Jack Nicholson na, may Keanu Reeves pa. Ako kaya magka Mel Gibson? Yung "passion" of my life.

FELLIE Dess, yung mga issues and developments we used to telebabad on, alam mo na, sa politics, governance, the future of the country. Naku is there life after FPJ?

SARAH: I heard, may excursion daw kayo kila Lelette sa March 6. Sino na nagtatawag… nagtetext pala?

ROTA: Is anybody going to bring a van so you can all go together na lang? Maybe some of you can meet up in Starbucks Alabang Town Center and carpool? How many have said they are going? Would she need charis and tables kaya?

DESS: Alam mo naman si Lelette, well prepared lagi yan. The hostess with the mostest. Dati pinagtatawanan natin ang layo ng bahay niya. Kailangan pa nga daw ng visa papunta doon. Now, look at all that traffic in the South Luzon Expressway.

The opinions I would like to elicit from you three is this: What are your hopes and wishes for the Silver Belles who are turning Coral next year. Ganon ba yon? Silver na metal, nagiging Coral? Corals under the sea are living plants, di ba? But when removed from their natural habitat, they turn into a vibrant hue and become very beautiful ornaments.

ROTA: It is amazing how time flies. From silver, to pearl, and now coral. How multi-faceted we have become as mothers, wives, friends, career women, daughters, civic leaders, etc. It would be nice if the original aims and objectives of Silver Pax Inc were revisited. And we were able to really assist those among our classmates in need.

FELLIE: Yes, absolutely. And hopefully, we can organize more activities for bonding, beyond seeing each other at wakes and funeral, reunions, or the mandatory Christmas party. It's only when Balikbayan classmates come when we do get together. I miss the light banter and repartee of long drawn out lunches or dinners, then hopping coffee shops to savor the new dessert concoctions. Road trips to Tagaytay or Clark, when we can chat and chismis the hours away as a group. Recollections together has its value too.

Sarah: Basta get together more, eat together more, laugh together more. O Dess, OK na ba yan? Kasi marami pa akong gagawin. Girl Friday na ako ni St. Peter.

SARAH, SARAH, SARAH

By: Dess Allanigue-Madsen
(written a few weeks after Sarah’s first death anniversary)

This is long overdue. I know. It's not because I have forgotten Sarah or reneged on my promise to Vinchu to write a piece about Sarah. Just that I'm in a kind of time warp. Possibly, I'm still on denial. But face the fact, I must, that the irreplaceable, indispensable, unforgettable Sarah J. has passed on to the ultimate PAX. She has really left a void. And while Loilly has been prolific in her humorously detailed account of reunions in America from the Eastern seaboard to the Bay-Area Silver Belles, I have been in a literary stupor. My center of gravity hasn't been the same since Sarah died after Fellie and after Rota.

I cried a lagoon for Rota, was numb with sorrow for Fellie's parting, and then now, Sarah was taken. It was a little too much for me. I mean, the thoughtful, generous, helpful ones are taken away too soon. The good Lord has his divine plan and reasons. In the end, He knows best.

We all got closer during and after our Silver Jubilee milestone. It was the rite of passage that made us more profound and complete women. It was a privilege to have rediscovered them again in adult life, after spending our springtime together in campus.

Unlike Juris and Loily and Kathy and Lelette who caught a glimpse of Sarah in the hospital, I didn't have the opportunity to bite into the reality of her passing away. I attempted to visit her in PGH, but lost the nerve to go up to her room. And I always thought I was the brave one.

"The good die young" That truism couldn't be truer with the early graduation from this life of Rota, Fellie, and Sarah. I guess this realization prompted Gigi to remark: "Dess, Don't be good, ha!" And coming from Prats, that seemed to be an order worth obeying.

So we move on with our lives, though no one can order me to stop remembering Sarah every time I pass through Alabang Hills, or see her beloved son Oscar in the Town Center, or simply pick up the phone and think it is her, calling to remind me about a reunion or something. She had the distinct ability to get us herded to our myriad occasions as a class -- birthdays, reunions, meetings, wakes, fundraisings, balikbayan soirees, etc. What's more, no one can persuade me not to miss the reassuring voice and seasoned counsel she offers when I frantically call her about a problem. When it came to raising kids she was my frame of reference. She had learned valuable lessons ahead of me and knew just how to objectify the muddled scenario. It seems so unfair that I can't run to her anymore when I have an issue to resolve with my son, Lucas. Now I have to go to a therapist and he's costing me dearly.

Her children were her treasure and she was a gem of a mother as well. She once narrated to me about their trip to Disneyland - Tokyo when Oscar had a severe asthma attack and she had to carry him for quite a distance. Mind you, he was already a big boy by then. As we who were close to her observed, Sarah Jane (or Sarj) and Oscar made her life meaningful and rich. Her friends spiced up her life. Some sweetened it; others soured it. But bitter was never in her palate, even with the trials and pain she bore. Of course, those of us who were privy to her life knew who were the pain in her neck. Always jovial and helpful and thoughtful, she certainly was adept in lightening other people's load. I was truly touched by the hands-on help she gave me when my father passed away. I had called Pamela and Sarah to help me with the flower arrangements and together with Juris, they came through for me. Having no brothers and sisters, this is big-time emotional rescue. That's when you feel enfolded in the love and affection of your friends.

Of course, Sarah was feisty too and had strong opinions about issues and difficult characters. Her candor was refreshing and she could really "sock it to you" if need be. I saw her mellow. She became what the Jesuits preach: "A man for others."

I'm glad I was a camera-bug and took pictures every time we got together. Now, I have a collection of those KODAK moments that make for a Hallmark movie. Oh, but we had lots of hilarious snapshots too that's like a Monday night sit-com triple treat in Star Channel. There were highlights of those group bonding moments, like the time we spent the Philippine Centennial Celebration in Manila Mandarin, care of Juris. We were like teenagers in a pajama party. Loily snored me to insomnia. Juris snapped a picture of me topless in the bathroom vanity while tweezing my white hair. And Ampy was there to provide some sanity. History was being made that night and we spent it together, watching the fireworks on TV and chatting the night away.

We will be celebrating our Coral Jubilee next year. Wow grabe! Has it been that long? In my mind's eye I can still visualize Sarah in our Yearbook picture -- with her long tresses, white gala, and her "Close-Up" smile. With a heavy heart, I can just try to visualize her in our meetings, rehearsals and curtain call when we strut our stuff in the 2005 Homecoming. You can bet she'll be with us all the way -- in spirit -- prompting some of us to do the calling, reminding and persuading; finding the right kind of orangey red for our costumes and all that jazz. Surely she'll be cheering and clapping for us, laughing at our missed step or memory lapses. I can imagine Rota and Fellie snickering as they float above the front row seat while Sarah watches in amazement as Betchay does a belly dance in a harem dancer sequence. (Yes, this time we are going to dance). Oh, there I go daydreaming again… just like I used to in Lala Feliciano's Literature class, circa '70. Yes, I'm trapped in a time-warp, still thinking those three good girls are still around.

Loily's Eulogy for Sarah

It will soon be Sarah Jamir Francisco's birthday. And I'd like to dedicate this article to her, as she's probably the reason why I maintain this blog. When Sarah was alive, we used to call her Miss Communication. She took it upon herself to communicate to us, her classmates, the activities of the class - meetings, parties, and mere get-togethers. For months, and even years on end, going to our class activities was low in my scale of priorites. But through her, I knew what was going on and always felt some sense of connection. So when she was gone, I suddenly felt detached from the class.

One day, while cleaning out my emailboxes, I found emails from Sarah with inspirational quotes on friendship that she would send her friends. (I had never responded to them, I don't think I even acknowledged that I would receive them.) I suddenly felt a need to connect with the class once more. There were email addresses of our classmates were on Sarah's email, so I wrote them all: Myrna, Emi, Lelette, Carina, Juris, Loily, and the rest is history. Since then have tried to keep the rest of our classmates in the communication loop, as Sarah tried to do. As Juris said at that time, Sarah was still doing her job, even beyond the grave.

Loily wrote a moving eulogy for her best friend which I once sent out in a newsletter. I have included it here for posterity, that someday, it be included in our CTB.

A EULOGY FOR SARAH

By: Loily Pena Rosete

Good morning. I am honored and privileged to deliver this eulogy for Sarah. Actually, I am sooo nervous, just standing here. I hope I don't fumble my lines. I hope I don't disappoint her. After all, she was the one who asked me to write this eulogy for her. And thank God, she wanted it to be funny. I am sorry that I'm no literary genius, I just had to look up EULOGY in the dictionary. EULOGY definition: speech; writing in commendation or praise. Root word EU means well or something good as in eucalyptus- a WELL covered flower that leaves a strong odor used as an antiseptic. Or EUCLIDES - a great mathematician of Alexandria. Curiously, right after eulogy, comes the word EUNUCH. Definition: CAS-TRA-TED MALE. E-U???? Wellnuch? Goodnuch? NOnuch! (Father, maybe if Bishop Yalung was a eu…ah nevermind. Forgive me father).

It took me an hour and a half to do that intro.

Yesterday morning, I called up Sarah's daughter, Sarge to tell her that I couldn't do the eulogy. To talk about Sarah would take more than a day. She and I shared twenty years of tears and laughter. And if you add up all our phone calls, that would be about half of those twenty notorious, laborious, hilarious and religious years.

If someone would ask me what would be the first word to describe her, it would be religious. Even during our UP days, Sarah would always bring me to church for her First Friday, First Wednesday masses, novenas… she was just always praying. There was even a time that she would walk kneeling all the way from the church door to the altar. Every night, she prays the rosary. She prays when she wakes up and when she goes to bed. It would really upset her if she couldn't attend Sunday Mass. And when she prayed, she prayed fervently. Every time she would counsel me on some matter, she would always tell me to pray first before making any decisions. What she prayed for, I never asked. But everytime I look at her children, I know that all her prayers were answered.

To her children, please allow me to borrow some lines from the Litany of the Blessed Virgin, she was a mother most amiable, a mother most admirable, and a mother of good counsel. To us her friends, in our desperate and most trying moments, she was friend most prudent and a friend most faithful. She was all of wisdom, she helped the sick and gave refuge to sinners. She was no morning star, but she comforted the afflicted. One thing she'll never be is Queen of Martyrs. If you seek her advise and you wallow in self pity, this is what she'll tell you without batting an eyelash, "Leng, alam mo, hindi na uso ang martir. Matagal na silang binaril sa Luneta." You have to be straight forward with her because she doesn't mince words. For her, if you want counseling she'll gladly give it to you but she can't be your wailing wall all the time. She'll jolt you to your senses and kung wala pa rin effect, she'll recommend a lobotomy. Warning yon that you either shape up or ship out.

This woman was just so tough sometimes her pagka-Cavitena would show at the most awkward situations. Several years ago, nagmamaneho siya ng kotse niya and she was waiting to make a left turn. When the traffic officer gave her the go signal she just turned and drove on. And then one of the officers stopped her and she was wondering what her offense was. Tapos pagtingin niya sa rearview mirror, she saw the traffic officer limping towards her. Namimilipit yung mukha nung pulis pero Sarah just asked him in a very cool and unaffected voice, Bakit boss? Hindi mo ba nakitang nasagasaan mo ako? Huh? Kung nasagasaan ko kayo, eh bakit kayo nakatao diyan? Poor guy, it was not his day. Ayan! Yung paa ko, nasagasaan mo. Eh paano ko makikita yang paa mo eh nasa loob ako ng kotse. Then he asked for her license but Sarah refused to give it. Sabi niya, just escort me to Crame. It so happened that she knew someone there, and malas talaga nung pulis, hepe niya yung kausap ni Sarah. End of escapade 23 Series 6.

But Sarah never picked a fight with just everyone. One of her latest was when she watched a movie at the Town Center. She admonished some teenagers for being too noisy while the National Anthem was being played. One of the boys tried to reason out in a brash manner kaya yon, Sarah gave him a mouthful of venom. That boy is probably in therapy until now.

Before, I would hear people describing her as palaban, aggressive, and uncontrollable. For me, Sarah is a just person. If there is a cause to defend, she will fight to the end. She will never leave anything unfinished.

For those who did not really know her, they just judged her based on the opinion of others. I knew Sarah for more than thirty years, but it took me twelve years to understand her. My father is 82 years old, and to this day I don't understand him.

They say that for a relationship or friendship to work there has to be a balance between giving and receiving. With Sarah, I was almost always at the receiving end. We both worked hard to make ends meet. But somehow she would always find a way to help me financially. My kids still remember the many past Christmases when she gave them presents and spending Halloween at her house because it was also her birthday. She never failed to send cookies and fruits to my father even when she was sick already. She just never stopped giving.

There are a million things that I would like to say about Sarah but there isn't enough time. I would like to thank her for everything. Susan, a friend from UP would like to thank Sarge and Oscar for sharing their mother with her.

I would also like to thank everyone who helped her. She was deeply touched with all the outpouring of kindness and love.

The Bingo Good News: Betchay Won!

"I hope that at least one of us wins in this bingo, sa kinadami dami ng ticket na hawak natin," I commented to our classmates when I sought them out during an intermission halfway through the bingo between games.

"Betchay won na!" they all chanted in unison, with Lelette liftng the P8,000.00 cash money she had claimed for Betchay. This news was like a ray of sunshine on a rainy Sunday afternoon at the St. Scholastica's College Bingo Social, organized to raise funds for the centennial projects of our school.

Ia, my youngest daughter and I had arrived at around 2:30 p.m. just when the rain started to come down in torrents giving us a hard time getting out of the car. We hardly stopped to chat with Emi at the ticket tables to exchange our tickets for the bingo cards. Aside from the ten that we claimed, we were given 22 more to play for classmates abroad.
Ia and I got our feet wet looking for our classmates under the many tents that had been set up for the event, but rather than risk getting even more wet, and seeing empty seats in a table on dry land, far from the bingo area but near enough to a loudspeaker to hear the numbers being called out, we decided to take our places. And as the bingo was about to start almost an hour later, Sr. Lioba sat with us and offered to play one of our cards for us.

There would be ten games, all of which had cash prizes ranging from P6,000.00 to the grand prize of P100,000.00. For the first game, Ia and I had to play about 15 bingo cards each. It was a good thing the game was pretty simple. By this time the rain had abated into a slow drizzle, and the clouds were starting to open up. Then Offie Angeles-Marino and Ophel Mascardo arrived to help us out. And our mood changed to a more positive one.

There we were, the five of us, playing 33 cards. Eight each for Offie, Ophel, Ia and I, and one for Sr. Lioba. Aside from our own cards, we held bingo cards for: Loily, Liliput, Dada, Dory, Patty Zayco-Pascual, and Les Osmena-Aguado. We also held 11 raffle tickets. (Those paid for through Dada were with Emi) And as game after game was played, we wondered if we would win, even just one raffle prize.

So hearing the good news about Betchay really lifted up our spirits. There they were across the field, diagonally opposite us, seated in tables near each other: Lelette and Butch with Betchay's, Kathy's, Ella's and their own tickets. Ampy's and Gigi's drivers were also playing a lot of bingo cards for other US based classmates. Together with Liz, Emi, and Emi's whole family and churchmates, they were holding the tickets of Anonymous, Wilma, Myrna, Louie, Dada, Rory, Rea, and Tet, and some local classmates who couldn't make it, like Dess.

As I walked back to my table, I saw Joanne, and I heard that Juris and her brother were also in the crowd. Emi was happy to see Marylou del Rosario who had always eluded our get togethers and promised to join the class sometime. And of course, Ampy and Gigi were there on the stage.

The bingo social was coming to an end, and the last game, blackout bingo, began. And as the numbers were called out, it seemed that they were all on one of the cards that we held for Liliput. Excitement on our table started to mount, and soon, ahead of anyone else near us, Liliput was waiting for only one number - N23 - to win the P100,000.00 grand prize. Elsewhere, Emi's daughter Dea, was equally excited for a cards she was playing for anonymous. Alas, a grade school parent, beat us to the prize. Maybe she needed it more at that time.

Later, we were happy to learn that the following won consolation prizes: Dada won a tall lamp (nearly up to Emi's chest). Myrna won a mouse pad with the St. Scho centennial logo on it. Wilma won a stick-on pad set in a leatherette box. And our anonymous donor won three prizes: complimentary lunch or dinner for two at the Ayala Museum Cafe (bagong renovate yun), valid till Jan. 14, 2006; a gift certificate from Zoobic Safari, which entitles two to a full safari entrance at Zoobic Safari in Subic. And again, an overnight accommodation for four(!) in an
air-conditioned family room at Puerto Azul Golf and Country Club in Cavite, which is valid until Dec. 15, 2005. Afterwards, Dada was happy to tell us that our anonymous donor wants us to raffle out the prizes she won at our Christmas party. So parang nanalo na rin kaming lahat.

We went home happy. Even if none of the Manila Belles won, an afternoon with friends is worth the effort. But the fun did not end there. Last Monday, October 24th, Gigi Prats treated those that could make it to a dinner at SENTRO in Greenbelt, to thank us for a job well done. (Sayang I wasn't there).

Girls in the US, we couldn't have done it without your support. And Ampy and Gigi are happy to announce that SSAFI made their targetted one million pesos from the bingo. And as Ampy told me, "I am just so touched with the love and support I feel from our class." And from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you.

WHO AND WHAT IS ANONYMOUS DONOR?

When Dada reported that she had collected $380.00 for bingo tickets, one of our classmates, who wishes to remain anonymous, offered to double the money and sent her a check for another $380.00, making collections through Dada $760.00 in all. And as if that generosity was not enough, Loily decided to send $40.00 more to make the remittance through Dada an even $800.00. That's 80 tickets we played for you guys, almost the amount of our quota. Add that to those that were bought by the Local Coral Ladies and we went beyond our pledge. No wonder Gigi becomes the head of SSAFI when St. Scho has a major fund raiser. She has such a supportive and generous class!!!!